After Johnny shilling butter it’s about time another punk got a piece of the pie. Carnival Cruise lines has already used Iggy’s drug fueled anthem to sell cruises to pensioners and families but now Swiftcover uses the man himself to sell… insurance.

Sadly with the death of Stooges guitarist, Ron Asheton, insurance policies are probably something Iggy actually is thinking about.

Greenpeace has reanimated a famous dead president to push a sustainable energy message for conference in Berlin. I’ve never liked these kind of CG Lazarus treatments because they always end up looking rather creepy. Given that it’s Halloween, perhaps that’s appropriate.

I don’t think these are a great idea because they tend to unsettle people. We know that’s not really what they’re saying and it turns people we are familiar with into puppets.

It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers dressed up as poignant advocacy.

More trick than treat:

There is a time, usually around 3 am, that many people who work in advertising wake up in a cold sweat. A panicky thought flits across the conscience; Maybe I’m doing something that is less than noble. It’s happened to me: ‘Perhaps these people’s lives won’t be complete and free from discomfort, pain and inconvenience upon using this product. Perhaps I’m promising a panacea to the human condition which simply does not exist.’ It usually passes when I assuage my vestigial conscience that while I may be a whore, I at least don’t make political advertisements.

To be honest, I don’t even have that much of a problem with political advertising since it is complete shit and everyone expects it to be shit and it really doesn’t make any difference. That is actual political advertising.  What twists my little blackened capitalist soul is the utterly stupid advertising used by anyone who wants to be seen as ‘getting it’ and hip to the modern world. The worst is obviously MTV, but if you are still watching MTV you likely have suffered such brain damage as to not be able to read these letters. So this is a warning to advertising people and kids who might be considering experimenting with MTV and politics. Don’t do it.

If you are in advertising: Please, please, for the love of Ogilvy, avoid using clichés in reference to not voting.  It’s twaddle. It’s rubbish and so stupid that anybody smart enough to vote in the first place will now feel retarded.

Do not tape mouths shut. Do not place zippers over those mouths, gags or menacing hands. And do not, do not, use bondage fetish imagery to make your point. Don’t convince actors to do this. Especially if you’re going to make them cry. They don’t know better, but you should. Jessica Alba, you are cute. You do make a lot of crap movies though so the last time I was familiar with you was fast forwarding through a Fantastic Four movie on a BA flight to San Francisco. So you imploring me to vote is a bit… shit, really. In fact this ad would be so bad that it wouldn’t warrant a post if not for the fact that it resembles a bondage fetish ad. Somewhere, I suspect an art director is drinking heavily and distancing himself just as I suspect a 14 year old FHM reader is hiding this ad under his mattress. So the point of the ad? Jessica Alba cares. Or is a fetishist. Or something. Just vote. Or you’ll be taped up like the gimp in Pulp Fiction.

At least I know I’m not the only one losing sleep.

I wasn’t a huge fan of Coke’s Oasis Cactus Kid campaign because it seemed a bit heavy-handed in the “look at how wacky this is” to ensure YouTube virility. I do give them props for trying to create deeper content than a simple flash in the pan and will say that it appears to have been effective for them. That is until a bunch of stodgy, dour Brits complained to the stodgy, dour Advertising Standards Agency. 

For those not familiar with the ASA it is a watchdog group composed of genetically engineered jobsworths. Created in a secret WWII bunker to be devoid of a sense of style or humour while gifted with an oppressively heavy messianic complex to save the innocents from the evils of humour, satire and cleverness they ruthlessly crush evil advertisements wherever they find them (in the UK). 

Among the 32 complaints, eight viewers said the girl appeared to be a minor and therefore the ad condoned underage sex, eleven said the ad condoned teenage pregnancy and another six objected that the ad had been inappropriately scheduled because it could be seen by children and young people.

Ten objected that the ad suggested Oasis is a substitute for water and disparaged good dietary practice.

The advertising watchdog, upholding all complaints, says viewers are likely to see “Cactus Girl” as in her early teens due to her youthful appearance and voiceover and therefore reference to her pregnancy is “offensive and inappropriate”, adding the ad could be interpreted as condoning underage sex and teenage pregnancy.

The ASA adds the line in the first ad “don’t mess around with no water” suggests water is being rejected and, while acknowledging the ad did not suggest Oasis was healthier than water, it does imply the drink could be a replacement for water.

In its judgement on the second ad, the ASA says it did show a rejection of drinking water and therefore suggests Oasis, a drink containing sugar, could be a replacement for water.The watchdog concluded the ad is irresponsible and could discourage good dietary practice.

B!C! PSA!
Kids, sex isn’t cool and neither is sugar. Stay in school.

Here’s all four of the adverts… If you can handle them. You have been warned.

If good deserves Lurpak, what does bad food get? Johhny Rotten perhaps.

As an old punk I’m not offended by the idea of my punk icons doing an advert anymore than I’m offended by Henry Rollins appearing in bad movies. As an advertising guy, however, I’m offended at the crap advert made and the complete non-sequitur of using a Sex Pistol to push a dairy product.

Johnny, that must have been a big cheque. Your future dream turned out to be a marketing scheme.

 

The comma. It’s not as definitive as its brother the period or as emphatic as cousin exclamation. Many times the comma is neglected and unemployed; used where it is not needed and left out where it is. I admit I play pretty fast and loose with the comma, but that’s just how I roll. All told, I figure I use more commas then most people and therefore I am helping keep the little grammar tadpole alive.

This video by the Brazilian Press Association is brilliant. It ticks all my boxes: It is clever, it promotes free speech and it’s well designed. Let’s hear it for the comma!

Appropriation in advertising is nothing new, but it’s often done poorly- or at least unimaginatively.

The government of Madrid has created some advertisements to conserve energy targeted at young people. These ads use language and style that kids are familiar with from other ads: the put-on sulkiness of a perfume ad, a model tossing her silky hair, all communicate a different message. The introduction to the site, which translates as ‘buy this attitude‘ is a send up of the user generated YouTube content. Very well done.

Knife crime is constantly in the news here, often accompanied by the word ‘epidemic’. The Economist referred to Britain as the ‘Island of Savages’ a couple weeks ago, and today’s Metro cites a report that one in five kids carries a knife for protection.

AMV BBDO has created an ad for my council, Tower Hamlets. It’s aim is obviously to reduce knife crimes and convince kids not to carry them. I think it misses the mark, and probably by quite a bit.

The ad is very well done, nicely shot and paced, but the message is if you carry a knife, you’re more likely to be stabbed by your own knife. I think this is like telling people that if they speed they are more likely to die in their own car. Kids carry knives to look tough, to be tough or because they feel they need protection from others carrying them. They are less likely to be concerned about being stabbed by their own knife than by being stabbed by someone else’s.

That title is best said in a Futurama voice.

For all of you designers/creative types/futurologists/non-lactose intolerant people, Agency YCN has a challenge for you. Create the future of milk. I would divulge my entry, but I want to make sure I win a cool £1,000. Rest assured it involves cutting edge design, space age materials and an anti-matter drive.

I’ll be following the contest as I think it is a good challenge. Milk is a common product with little to differentiate one from another, but it ends up in many grocery baskets. As such, it is ideal for a challenge to create a unique product that will stand out from the competitors.

I’m particularly interested to see what new packaging designs are presented. The requirements are challenging: the packaging needs to be cheap with a size and shape that allows it to be easily stored in refrigerators. The material and design need to be able to be produced inexpensively and be sanitary and opaque. Since milk is such a consumable, a design that takes into account the waste generated is necessary as well. Put your thinking caps on and have a glass of milk!

The economic downturn (can we officially call it a recession yet?) in the States is not just hitting the pocketbook, but the libido as well: Revenue at the legal brothels in Nevada is down 25-45%. As the director for the Nevada Brothel Owner’s Association charmingly puts it, “Money for new wristwatches and gettin’ laid just isn’t there.”

Brothels used to be forbidden from advertising outside of their immediate area; unfortunately this was just one of many examples of the First Amendment being restricted when it comes to commercial speech. Last year the ACLU, along with some brothels and newspapers, challenged that law and had it overturned. Now many brothels are wondering what to do, if anything, with their new found freedom.

Some brothel owners fear a backlash if they put up billboards advertising their… goods. Others have been using billboards locally and welcome the chance to spread their message even further.

I lived in Reno for a few years before relocating here and I am familiar with the billboards of one brothel - and my familiarity with the brothel ends there - so I have to chuckle a bit. These billboards are fairly innocuous, so much so in fact that my mother wanted to take my father to the new Wild Horse Saloon when she first saw one. Of course my sister did inform her before they made that particular trip that it wasn’t the best place to pop in for a pint.

I think this is the problem brothels will face with advertising. They will self-censor themselves to an extent that there won’t be anything that actually tells someone what kind of ‘experience’ they’re going to have there. For all it’s neon, Nevada is a long way from the Red Light District of Amsterdam.

There is good news for the brothels though. With the exception of my mother, there seems to be a sort of tribal knowledge that exists among the locals (and long-haul truckers) that allows them to decipher that these ranches aren’t the rodeo kind. Undoubtedly the message will reach the target audience. Whether they put off buying a new wristwatch to save up for getting laid remains to be seen.