Every once in a while it pays to look around and see what opportunities are out there. This is an opportunity. While the remuneration isn’t great, it is local and I can’t pass up the opportunity for future world domination.

Ever feel like you’re forgetting something? Police officer leaves gun in Starbucks.

Knife crime is constantly in the news here, often accompanied by the word ‘epidemic’. The Economist referred to Britain as the ‘Island of Savages’ a couple weeks ago, and today’s Metro cites a report that one in five kids carries a knife for protection.

AMV BBDO has created an ad for my council, Tower Hamlets. It’s aim is obviously to reduce knife crimes and convince kids not to carry them. I think it misses the mark, and probably by quite a bit.

The ad is very well done, nicely shot and paced, but the message is if you carry a knife, you’re more likely to be stabbed by your own knife. I think this is like telling people that if they speed they are more likely to die in their own car. Kids carry knives to look tough, to be tough or because they feel they need protection from others carrying them. They are less likely to be concerned about being stabbed by their own knife than by being stabbed by someone else’s.

I’m beginning to think there is something to the whole pagan idea of sacrificing people to appease the gods. While headlines and alarmist reports of studies indicate that virgins are becoming quite scarce here, Labour politicians are quite abundant. Well, that is they were quite abundant until the elections tossed a load of them into the volcano. This clearly pleased Gaia / Huitzilopochtli / L. Ron Hubbard as we now have sunny weather!

It’s a great time to be in London, unless you happen to be one of the aforementioned sacrificial lambs. While everybody else enjoys the wonderful weather—complete with sun!— the Labour party seems to be firmly entrenched in what is shaping up to be the summer of their discontent.

I couldn’t vote in the election due to my Yanqui-ness but it was pretty hard not to follow it in the papers. Ken Livingstone is no longer mayor, a fact that I consider a distinct improvement over him being mayor. During the elections when he would crow about his achievements, he always listed transportation first. I’m not sure if you realised it Ken, but the transportation isn’t all that reliable and is obscenely expensive. He always struck me as somebody who is a terribly earnest acolyte of ‘his’ causes but rather incompetent in creating effectual policies. Combined with his supersized ego, that’s a dangerous combination in a politician.

So now we have the ‘Blonde Buffoon’, Boris! I’m pretty happy about that because: a) he’s far more entertaining and b) he’s not Ken Livingstone. Boris has now banned alcohol on public transport which I support because I always thought it was weird that it was legal to drink on the bus. He’s pissed off at least one transport union with that and since their strike last year, they engender little sympathy from me, so I consider that a good start.

So now I look forward to a brilliantly sunny weekend and one where we will most likely attempt a BBQ with friends. Please, please let this be a sign of a good summer ahead. There aren’t that many Labour pols left.

It’s hard to shock Londoners.

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Now playing: Anti-Flag - The Press Corpse
via FoxyTunes

Thriller London Underground

At about 7.30 last night I was getting on the Bakerloo line at Marylebone station. There was a bang and then the platform filled with white smoke. There was an announcement telling all passengers to leave the station due to “a reported emergency”. 

I’m sure it was nothing serious, most likely involving the motor or some other bit of the train, but I am curious. Anyone able to fill me in?

I didn’t really want to ask anyone at the scene since nobody else was. Everybody just quietly filed out when we were told and left the station. I was again impressed with the innate British ability to quickly and efficiently form a queue.

London b!c!

Mi Mujer and I had our last hurrah for a bit (New Year’s resolutions and all) by going out and celebrating our anniversary. It was actually on the 2nd of January, but that day was spent in the dentists office, the airport and flying home. We figured that gave us an excuse for a do-over.

We went to an Ethiopian restaurant by King’s Cross called Merkato. It was a pleasant, homey kind of restaurant. It was quite small and had inexpensive decorations with fabric hanging on the walls and plastic flowers on the tables. The food was surprisingly cheap (£6 could get you a meal) and very tasty. I would heartily recommend the restaurant to anyone in the mood, although the walk from King’s Cross can be a bit long if it is raining.

Afterwards we went to an Irish pub and I had my first taste of Guinness Red. I approached it with a touch of trepidation as I feared it might be another silly marketing ploy - Guinness Extra Cold I’m looking at you. I can say I was pleasantly surprised. It looks like regular Guinness but with a hint of a ruby glow near the bottom of the pint. It’s lighter in body than a regular Guinness, and perhaps a touch creamier, with a sweeter flavour. It won’t replace my regular Guinness but it’s a fun diversion when looking for something a bit different.

Our repeat anniversary celebration over, we went home to settle in to restrictions both dietary and financial for the next few weeks.

London Restaurant Guinness

On Friday, Anti-Nowhere League played at the Underworld in Camden Town. ANL is one of my favourite bands of all time. I have never seen them play live because they don’t seem to make it to the West Coast of America very often. Needless to say, I was incredibly excited for this show. I arrived before Mi Mujer and found the pub to be completely lit by candles and candles only. In my naïveté I assumed it was a Halloween stunt and thought, ‘how annoying’. ‘Surely drinking by candles lost its charm by the industrial revolution’.

Turns out that the power was off because of something outside of World’s End control affected the whole area they are situated in. While I cursed my luck I patiently waited for Mi Mujer and checked the signs continually being taped to pillars, doors and walls regarding updates to the show. Mi Mujer arrived, and like magic, the power was restored. She has the effect on me where I see lights when she enters a room, but didn’t realize it would extend to the London power grid. It’s a good thing she showed up because a men’s toilet in Camden Town without lighting is something I don’t want to venture into again—I questioned every puddle on the floor.

Anti-Nowhere League played and we had a great time. We were befriended by a Scottish punk well into his late 40’s with piercings and tattoos covering his body. He had some interesting tattoos on his head with skulls and the like, and bizarrely, a giant Spiderman slinging a web above his ear. His best one was a full back piece of the ANL emblem of the raised fist and spiked ball. So I spent much of the night shouting lyrics, throwing my hands in the air and jumping about. The rest was spent pretending I understood a drunk late-40’s Scottish punk’s ramblings above the noise of the band. My hearing is rubbish, which I blame on both spending too many years in an engine room in the navy and going to too many punk rock shows, so my normal response when people talk is to nod my head, smile and say “Oh, yeah”. It works pretty well.

Afterwards, Mi Mujer told me that Animal reminded her of Elvis which took me by surprise. I know Elvis was a bit risqué but he didn’t sing about being a sexual pervert and hating everybody. Goes to show that what is dangerous and taboo one day will become cute and nostalgic in a couple decades. No surprise really—my grandma was a flapper.

Please turn the collars of your polo shirts down. You might also want to reconsider wearing pink shirts. It makes you looks like a nation of the preppy bad guys from Molly Ringwald movies.

While I’m at it, wearing sunglasses indoors or at night doesn’t make you look cool. It just makes you look like a jackass. It can also be dangerous, as Craig David shows here by walking into a car door testicles first.

The Taste Spain festival will be taking place in London from the 12th to the 19th of October. I’m looking forward to this and will try to sample a few of the events. Spanish guitar, flamenco dancing, tapas and Spanish food is on offer. Really, who could ask for more?

London Spanish Food