Greenpeace has reanimated a famous dead president to push a sustainable energy message for conference in Berlin. I’ve never liked these kind of CG Lazarus treatments because they always end up looking rather creepy. Given that it’s Halloween, perhaps that’s appropriate.

I don’t think these are a great idea because they tend to unsettle people. We know that’s not really what they’re saying and it turns people we are familiar with into puppets.

It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers dressed up as poignant advocacy.

More trick than treat:

There is a time, usually around 3 am, that many people who work in advertising wake up in a cold sweat. A panicky thought flits across the conscience; Maybe I’m doing something that is less than noble. It’s happened to me: ‘Perhaps these people’s lives won’t be complete and free from discomfort, pain and inconvenience upon using this product. Perhaps I’m promising a panacea to the human condition which simply does not exist.’ It usually passes when I assuage my vestigial conscience that while I may be a whore, I at least don’t make political advertisements.

To be honest, I don’t even have that much of a problem with political advertising since it is complete shit and everyone expects it to be shit and it really doesn’t make any difference. That is actual political advertising.  What twists my little blackened capitalist soul is the utterly stupid advertising used by anyone who wants to be seen as ‘getting it’ and hip to the modern world. The worst is obviously MTV, but if you are still watching MTV you likely have suffered such brain damage as to not be able to read these letters. So this is a warning to advertising people and kids who might be considering experimenting with MTV and politics. Don’t do it.

If you are in advertising: Please, please, for the love of Ogilvy, avoid using clichés in reference to not voting.  It’s twaddle. It’s rubbish and so stupid that anybody smart enough to vote in the first place will now feel retarded.

Do not tape mouths shut. Do not place zippers over those mouths, gags or menacing hands. And do not, do not, use bondage fetish imagery to make your point. Don’t convince actors to do this. Especially if you’re going to make them cry. They don’t know better, but you should. Jessica Alba, you are cute. You do make a lot of crap movies though so the last time I was familiar with you was fast forwarding through a Fantastic Four movie on a BA flight to San Francisco. So you imploring me to vote is a bit… shit, really. In fact this ad would be so bad that it wouldn’t warrant a post if not for the fact that it resembles a bondage fetish ad. Somewhere, I suspect an art director is drinking heavily and distancing himself just as I suspect a 14 year old FHM reader is hiding this ad under his mattress. So the point of the ad? Jessica Alba cares. Or is a fetishist. Or something. Just vote. Or you’ll be taped up like the gimp in Pulp Fiction.

At least I know I’m not the only one losing sleep.

I wasn’t a huge fan of Coke’s Oasis Cactus Kid campaign because it seemed a bit heavy-handed in the “look at how wacky this is” to ensure YouTube virility. I do give them props for trying to create deeper content than a simple flash in the pan and will say that it appears to have been effective for them. That is until a bunch of stodgy, dour Brits complained to the stodgy, dour Advertising Standards Agency. 

For those not familiar with the ASA it is a watchdog group composed of genetically engineered jobsworths. Created in a secret WWII bunker to be devoid of a sense of style or humour while gifted with an oppressively heavy messianic complex to save the innocents from the evils of humour, satire and cleverness they ruthlessly crush evil advertisements wherever they find them (in the UK). 

Among the 32 complaints, eight viewers said the girl appeared to be a minor and therefore the ad condoned underage sex, eleven said the ad condoned teenage pregnancy and another six objected that the ad had been inappropriately scheduled because it could be seen by children and young people.

Ten objected that the ad suggested Oasis is a substitute for water and disparaged good dietary practice.

The advertising watchdog, upholding all complaints, says viewers are likely to see “Cactus Girl” as in her early teens due to her youthful appearance and voiceover and therefore reference to her pregnancy is “offensive and inappropriate”, adding the ad could be interpreted as condoning underage sex and teenage pregnancy.

The ASA adds the line in the first ad “don’t mess around with no water” suggests water is being rejected and, while acknowledging the ad did not suggest Oasis was healthier than water, it does imply the drink could be a replacement for water.

In its judgement on the second ad, the ASA says it did show a rejection of drinking water and therefore suggests Oasis, a drink containing sugar, could be a replacement for water.The watchdog concluded the ad is irresponsible and could discourage good dietary practice.

B!C! PSA!
Kids, sex isn’t cool and neither is sugar. Stay in school.

Here’s all four of the adverts… If you can handle them. You have been warned.

If good deserves Lurpak, what does bad food get? Johhny Rotten perhaps.

As an old punk I’m not offended by the idea of my punk icons doing an advert anymore than I’m offended by Henry Rollins appearing in bad movies. As an advertising guy, however, I’m offended at the crap advert made and the complete non-sequitur of using a Sex Pistol to push a dairy product.

Johnny, that must have been a big cheque. Your future dream turned out to be a marketing scheme.