Help Us Obi-Wan Kenobi! You’re Our Only Hope!
Darth Vader received a suspended sentence after attacking two Jedi Masters with a lightsaber after breaching their church’s defenses. In Wales.
Darth Vader, er 27-year-old Arwel Wynne Hughes wearing a black bin bag, attacked two members of the Jedi church in March. He cunningly found the flaw in their perimeter by leaping the hedge and shouting “Jedis! Darth Vader!”.
The two Jedi masters related the harrowing tale in Intergalactic/Wales district court. Master Jonba Hehol -aka 27-year-old Welsh hairdresser Barney Jones - was struck over the head with the lightsaber - aka metal crutch. His cousin and co-founder of the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, Master Mormi Hehol - or more informally, Michael Jones - was struck in the thigh by the Sith Lord’s weapon leaving a rather dark bruise.
Darth Hughes claims to have no memory of the event due to either a Jedi mind trick or his drinking of a 10-litre box of wine beforehand. Fortunately the two Jedi Masters recorded the whole event on a camcorder they had set up to film themselves having a lightsabre duel.
Master Mormi Hehol, skilled in recognising danger in his dual role as head of sect security and Poundsaver employee, thanked their lucky stars; “If it had actually been Darth Vader with a real lightsaber, things might have been more serious”.
Jonba Hehol put the inter-sectarian violence in context, “We all love the films and what they stand for. Obviously some people are going to laugh about it. But a lot of people do take it seriously.”
Hey, it’s not as weird as Scientology.
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May 15th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Arrggh, Darth Vader needs to switch to a jug of Thunderbird, not pansy cabernet sauvignon.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:10 am
Has SAS been informed?
May 15th, 2008 at 2:53 am
Interesting story here. Hahaha. Is this a mock up story or what? Anyway, still it is very funny and worth reading.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:37 am
obi-wan kenobi is missing? the last time i saw him was, i don’t know, last week on tv? star wars episode 3?
May 16th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I thought I sensed a disturbance in the force.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Damnit, that’s a good one. I wish I had lead with that line.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
What an interesting story here… after reading this post makes me to watch star wars again… worth reading…
May 16th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
LOL! What a weird story. There’s no video of what really happened?
May 16th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
People should not laugh about it cause I think its our golden past.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
obi-wan kenobi is missing? the last time i saw him was, i don’t know, last week on tv? star wars episode 3?
May 17th, 2008 at 2:21 am
LOL. Ok, now that’s funny
May 17th, 2008 at 6:48 am
ROFL! That’s bloody hilarious! Imagine if Obi wan went into that church. Those people will be worshipping him!
May 17th, 2008 at 7:23 am
lol thats interesting. haha hilarious pictures running through my head imagining the whole scenario lol! sent some pics n video too if possible
May 18th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Ah, the wonders of LARPing. Simply spiffing. Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw Lightning bolt!
May 19th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Wow pretty nice post .I like your sharing about Darth Vader.
May 21st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
A metal crutch serves as their lightsaber? These are poor jedis huh? These day’s a cheap toy r us jedi sword is like what, 10 bux?
May 24th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
LOL, this has got to be the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Hey, I grew up watching Star Wars but c’mon… a Jedi church?
June 4th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
That was a great story, was laughing the whole time. Thank you for sharing, and you are absolutely right about it not being as weird as Scientology, they are just nutso! Xenu………..
November 27th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Superb! Kudos from a Star Wars fan!
Nicky Tanzanite